Prelude to the begining

How many of you reading this has lost your sanity in a moment where you needed intense reasoning. If you came face to face with death would you toil with it, try to cheat it of let is just take you.

You wonder for a moment and just wonder again is it worth it. Is this life of yours yours and who rules it.
If God gave you this life what is it for.

Your parents raise you and give you apart of everything they have. Emotionally and physically might be money or something tangible but what counts most is the years that have spent with you making you the person you are.

Rarely do we ever look back and think of this as pleasures. The ones who do rarely get the satisfaction and hope their judgement lies in a place where they have never been.

You crave for joy and happiness. You feel lost in loneliness. You wished the world never begun or ended. You wonder why God has his rules and your rules are different from his. Why does your life have to be so hard to satisfy him.
The gates are closed and the men have left. You have lost your mother and the courage to defend your sanity.

You dont know if you have it in you to continue.
You dont know if there is a way. Is the way right.
I something understand how the cattle work so hard. They become numb to becoming tired. They prefer to forget the need to rest. The suffering just becomes a state of mind where to rest is joy. If you dont rest then you just stay there.
You feel like the cattle. You feel like you just drag your self only to realize that the suffering of a cattle is physical but your mind is feeling the same way.

You have dreams and wishes, but you render yourself the pot where people just pour in. You take what ever you can and there somes a time when you just give way.
Your not a pretty jar, or a beatiful glass.Your not an elegant rich vase.
your just a plain pot .. and just a clay pot that has was made in the heat.

The funny thing is others claim to be the pot you are or made of better and harder clay. But then again you have to remind them that you were hand made. God makes every person and thats what gives the term individual its meaning.

Life is not a mind game and its not a a toy. You dont play with people. You dont play with love. You dont play with sorrow. If you start playing you never know when you become the pawn that the chess master slays.

You live and you feel alive.
But at this moment i dont feel sorrow. I dont feel happiness. If there is a state when you just go on and thats the state that hold me.
I dont know why i let my self get effected. But then again that the sadness of life.
Your the pot and your hand made and you break someday.
Someday you will break.
Someday you will break.
hope that day is not today.