Corrupted Soul

I am tired from thought. Tired from speech. Yet I have not been thinking or speaking. I do not understand why. I realized that this piece of trash that I write is of no use to anyone. Who ever is dear to me knows me and who knows me doesn’t have to read this to understand me. I realize the sentences I put down here are abridged versions of thoughts that I wish to publicize. I am tired of this mockery, sick of this pretence of showing what I want them to see. If they can see what is, it should be because of his own capacity and not because of what I lay down here in words. I have seen what one does not wish to see. A hypocrite in myself and decided to take him out cold and unemotionally. I have always failed to smile in any photo. I wondered why,only until now. I know that work keeps me happy and sorrow itself does not make me sad but my idleness is more unbearable than the joy of having people who don’t understand me. I feel like a fool trying to justify himself in front of a jury who does not understand what is the meaning of a free soul. They don’t know what passion is and what conviction one can have when he thinks about what he can do and would love to do. The world just revolves around a waste land. A land where the system is the education and not the freedom of thought and creativity. But of monotonous and insane similarity. The system is not corrupt. It is only evil but only to those who know what it can do to them. The system is free and yet chains you in all respects. It allows you to breathe but only the air around.

Do you see it? Do you know it ? I have begun to see it and it scares me. My future and when I lay on my death bed. Will it haunt me? Will it make me a happy man for what I have achieved and the scale of my judgment, will it be the system or will it be me.

I have decided to not speak of who I am or what I am. I will only say what is!
I cannot change the world but I can change myself.

I have a bible. A bible of my own. Where god is the author and not any man alone. I do not wish to share it with you and I do not seek yours. Let me be the one to hold it and let me alone worship it.

I believe the system shows this as selfish and as an egotistical remark. But trust me I know I am happy and my soul smiles in every picture that I reflect.

I have to be this or otherwise its not me.

Blue Badged

I wanted to basically post about how it is to work for Microsoft, but the people here are so amazing that you forget it’s work. Creativity and problem solving skills are a some of the key values that hold great importance here.  I have barely been here for 3 weeks now and I have realized that it’s an ocean of amazing people. You come to terms with the fact that it’s not what is in the book that’s important but why did it come there in the first place.  I finally got some time at the campus as the “Ready to Rock” event for launch of 2005 suite of products were going on. I was just strolling around the campus and watching people play tennis and volleyball and took a few snaps of the buildings where we are expected to move into soon. In the mean time I’ve been digging into a bit of managed debugging. For many guys who want to kick off with 2.0 and playing around with the debugger try to dive into Mdbg. Check out the Mike Stalls post on Summary of the role of MDbg and Cordbg


System Auto

Ok this is not something I envisioned i would be posting the the first day after moving to my new home. The incident is rather an eye opener than a resentful one. I guess everyone know how auto functions across the country. The guy asks 10rs over the meter, one and a half meter, just a flat rate or anything that close to the price of a T-shirt and a lot of other price hiking techniques.
Ah so we think we know. Well I have to say hyderabad worked a little differently for me. I guess I have to let the system carry us on rather than having a preconcieved notion of the system even withing the same country. I was at the stands and I rarely agree to give above the normal meter charge and so one after another guy started refusing to take me. Well I was hoping I would find someone travellign that side and then I came to the fully filled auto stand and in all sprits started patrolling to find that one guy who would go to Cyber Towers.
Ha! I found him. I sit inside and he waits and waits. I got a little worried and asked him whts the waiting for. Then i see him shouting Hi Tech City, Hi Tech City .. I realized it was more of a share taxi rather than the regular auto.
Basically I would take us minumum fare of 10 bucks. but this took me like 3 rupees. More like the bus service but then again on 3 wheels.
So that how the System(auto) works here.

I dont know if thats good or bad but just found it funny. I guess its not funny to people who already know hyderabad. But this is my space and I find it a bit hilarious after all the auto bargaining I have done.